Wednesday, 10 February 2016

Dropping out of Uni - My story

Hey everyone,

Today I am back with a personal post talking about dropping out of uni. If you didn't know I started my first year of Uni in September and by the November I had left. I briefly talk about it in a previous post which you can find here 

So like I said I enrolled onto what I thought was my dream uni and course and unfortunately it didn't turn out that way. I was so excited to start university and my course, it was a passion of mine. I had imagined what It would be like and how I wanted the experience to pan out.

The first few weeks were great I met what I thought was a great bunch of people, had so many laughs and was great. I managed to a find a good schedule meaning that I was only in uni two days a week so on my off days I would do my work and blog.

Then came my third proper lecture and seminar for one of my modules, little did I know this would have one of the biggest impacts on my life.

I went to the lecture and had a great time, me and the girls giggled through it, it was great then came the senimar and it was downhill from here.  Their was 8 of us in a friendship group so when it came to having to split in to two groups in the senimar, we decided the 4 girls staying on campus would go together and so would us 4 who lived off campus.

We sat together had a chat and then came the 'issue' as you may or may not know I work 5-9pm monday to friday in retail. So as we was talking they said my job could be an issue as I could only stay till 4pm on wednesday before having to leave to get to work. I was then made to feel very uncomfortable as they talked about how they could work around everyone schedule but mine. Our lecture then proceeded to come over and explain it could be done within the time set, they didnt listen and for the rest of the senimar accused me of being nasty for sticking up for my self and blocked me out of the task using their bags.

As I was leaving I then heard them slagging me off to the other group and as I walked past I could hear them whispering about me and giving me funny looks. Right their right then I wanted to walk out and never walk back almost in tears I walked to the bus stop to go to the train station.

As I got on the train I rang my mum and ahead a few tears, I didn't care that people were looking I felt so crap that people could make you feel so small and gang up against one person. I am so lucky to have such a supportive mother in that she said she would support me no matter what my decision. I went home and broke down in tears to my mum and she listened to me rant.

I then made the decision to go back in either the monday afterwards or the monday after that, I can't really remember much of that times a blur for me as it's such a low point. So i went in sat at the front of the class and one by one everyone in my lecture could see I was alone and no one bothered to ask if I was okay, the group of girls just giggled in the back of the lecture. It was at that point I decided I was dropping out, I wasn't putting my self through it anymore. So after that was made and a lot of meetings had it was decided that I would intercalate. This meant I would go back the following year and start a fresh. I agreed to it.

Since having agreed to it I have applied for other uni's as part of me doesn't want to go back their as it's full of horrible memories. After what happened at uni I was at a real low point. My anxiety was horrific and I felt so claustrophobic. What I will say is I have had such an amazing family/friends who have supported me through it all. I have spent the time working on my blog and doing extra hours in my job.

What advice I will say to someone who is thinking of dropping out is, if your not happy go for it your family will love and support you no matter what. Your not a failure your strong and brave for getting out when you wasn't happy. It's been the best thing I ever did I am slowly getting back to my old self and my life is back on track.

I haven't named the people involved or the uni and I don't want this to seem like an attack on anyone. They did what they did and that's fair enough. I am mature enough to forgive and forget and let go cause if I didn't it would eat me up inside. As easy as it would be to name/shame no one deserves to be attacked or abused for mistakes they made when they were younger even if it has a huge effect on someone else life.

This post was purely done so that people can see a different side to why people drop out and understand that these type of things still happen even at University where it shouldn't.

I didn't do this post for attention or to gain sympathy, I just wanted to show the dark side of uni and its not all roses, their are some people who still feel the need to make others feel bad. This has been a tough post to write as I am reliving it all in my head.

Thanks for reading,
Until next time,
Heathers World.