Tuesday, 17 November 2015

Explanation as to why i have been awol. - My journey.

* Disclaimer I do not own the photos above they were found on Pinterest, credit to their individual owners.

Hey everyone so here is the post I promised you explaining my absence, sorry it is two days late. I know
just over two weeks ago I said I would do this post but part of me didn't want to publish it as it is very personal. I have decided to anyway so here it goes...

Just over a month ago now I had a bit of an issue in University, for those that didn't know I studied marketing and advertising in a local university. I am not going to name the university as I don't want to name anyone or for them to be found. What happened was I went to a lecture of mine and it was fine me and my so called friends all got a long and had a laugh, then the issue came in the seminar. we had to get in to groups for a presentation so I went with the people I had been with previously the week before when it all kicked off. They basically said because I work part time I would be an issue to the group even though they were willing to work around the other group members schedule. Then when I stuck up for my self I got called nasty.

I was then basically ostracised from the group and when I tried to contribute to the work we was doing my opinions got ignored. I felt so alone and upset in the lecture. Then as I was walking out of the lecture they started slagging me off to other people I socialised with. Since that day I have only been back to university once where I felt extremely awkward and not wanted.

I have then made the decision to take a year out of University as I don't feel comfortable nor happy being their. So in a way I have been bullied out of uni if you want to call it that but I have done whats best for me, I hope in time the people who are involved in this will realise what they have done and how they have effected someones life. I could sit here and name and shame and rip them to shreds but I am bigger and better than them.

This has then in turn had an effect on my blog as I have been suffering with really bad anxiety and panic attacks. I have always suffered with a low level anxiety but since this incident it has made it a lot worse. I have been the doctors as I am constantly having attacks. This has also had an effect on my life as the constant worrying and dilemma of what decision to make has made me second guess myself and worry more. Because of this I just haven't been able to spend time writing blog posts as I haven't been in the right frame of mind to.

I am lucky and grateful that I have so many supportive people around me who haven't judged me and supported my decision. People who have been their to listen to me rant and reassure me or be with me when I have spent a whole day crying. I am now in a much better place, my anxiety is slowly getting better and I am more able to cope with it. My life is starting to go back to how it was and I am for once looking forward to the following day.

I just want to say that I haven't done this post to gain any sympathy, I just wanted to explain to everyone why I have been absent and to say that I am slowly getting back in to blogging. Also with my year of university I will be putting more time into my blog to make it as good as it can be.

Thank you everyone for reading this post and understanding why I have been absent. I am looking forward to the next few months and being able to start a new year fresh.

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Until Next time,
Heather's World.